Tag Archives: Updates

Pondering Old Issues For Me

This is going to be stream of consciousness for me; an effort to write out things I’ve been trying to work through lately. Maybe “talking it out” will gain me some perspective.

Well, first a small update for anyone that actually wants to read. My “project rebirth” thing was a wash for a while, SORT OF. I underwent spinal decompression therapy to try to reverse stage 3 spinal degeneration in my neck. The process broke down alot of internal scar tissue and left me pretty well sidelined for a while from the pain. I’m trying to get back on the horse again however.

The previous damage to my neck had done a major number on my spiritual gifts too. Energetic blockages. Blockages that have now been at least partially cleared up. You’d think that would be a good thing, BUT when you go from a hair over a muggle back to an ability as an empath that will let you sense people on the other side of the world, it’s… required major adjustment.

I’ve had to relearn old shielding techniques, and try to find new ones all while coping with a horrific amount of negative energy in the ether. This world is screaming in pain right now as “leaders” and media do everything they can to pit common people against each other. It’s overwhelming. The only real answer is to keep pushing through it; work on meditation, shielding and control.

And Then There Was THIS Blog…

So let’s be real here, I’ve done nothing with this blog for AGES. I’m shocked I still have any followers, LOL. Guess it helps that the info I provided thus far was good.

My major hangup about doing a spiritual blog is that the vast majority of spiritual people I’ve met online and in person seem quick to abuse their abilities, skirt common sense rules, AND react harshly when they’re advised caution. True even when they know better.

One such person I know did a tremendous amount of excellent writing on the dangers of spiritual attachments like cords and outright possession, but then admits to freely playing with ghosts. A good way to get burned, as ghosts can be just as deceptive and manipulative as anything from outside our realm. What’s worse; they aren’t bound by the same rules as those other things.

It’s always “I’m different, I can handle it” though. Aleister Crowley thought so too. All it took was one failure to properly close an Enochian ritual to twist him into “The Great Beast” though. On a more personal level, I had a student a good 20 years ago that got bitchy over the pace of her training and insisted on jumping into books on goetia (demon summoning) on her own. She got belligerent when told (by multiple people) it was something not to be messed with and then outright combative when I cut her off.

I could go on with other examples, like the lunatic who thought he was John the Baptist and tried to attack a friend and I both physically and spiritually, OR even the help mate who turned on me like a rabid dog after I broke a really nasty curse another witch had put on her. My crime? Advising her to be a better person so nobody did things like that to her again.

So yes… I wonder from a karma standpoint if creating a blog of techniques and advice is opening the door for people to things they’re not willing to handle responsibly. I hate to use the expression (because it sounds like I’m talking down), but am I effectively putting a gun into the hands of a child here? I don’t want that karma.

There IS the flip side argument though… To put it in Star Wars terms; “If we don’t train him, he’ll naturally drift to the Dark Side”. No easy answers.

I feel better for just “verbalizing” my doubts, but I’m still not much closer to an answer. The first thing I clearly have to do is get the empathic ability under control. Having an ability to sense and be influenced by spiritual energy with virtually global range and NO off switch sucks.

Project Rebirth

Yes, I’m back again, ready to give this yet another try.

I appreciate that my followers seem to have hung on despite this blog being largely inactive for ages. There’s a TON I want to say here, so I’ll apologize if this gets long and rambling.

So where have I been? Getting knocked around by life, falling on my butt, and struggling to get back up again. Dealing with fears and doubts that I thought I’d beaten, only to have them attack me from a different angle.

Reality is, I doubt I’m much different from anyone else. Especially those of us who are gifted with spiritual awareness and a connection to the Divine. So, part of my reason for writing this is to encourage all of you who have beat up by life to rise up and keep going. The world is becoming a dark place, and it needs every scrap of light and positive energy it can get. The ugly tone of politics, all the half true allegations flying around there and elsewhere… It’s NOT an accident. Neither, I believe is some of the misfortune we’ve been suffering.

First, if you want to recover, focus on recovery. Wallowing in injustices real and perceived only brings your spiritual energy to a lower vibration and keeps you stuck.

Second, and even more important, I’m not advocating rising up like some army or trying to become a superhero. There’s only ONE way to beat the combination of spiritual and human evil in the world today. That’s to pray, meditate and try to bring as much white light into the world as possible. Don’t lecture people. I think that’s the biggest flaw of organized religion. Instead, set a positive example via your words and ACTIONS.

Think of the world as a dark room full of people with unlit candles, and you hold a lit one. You light the next person’s candle with your own, then they spread that light to the next person, and so on. Before you know it, the entire room is overflowing with light. There’s no magical games involved, no forcing opinions on people, or debating with negative ones. Just be the best you that you can and let that light inspire others.

You WILL get tested again. Maybe knocked down again. There are hundreds of motivational sayings about the person who wins is the one who gets up one more time than they’re knocked down. Work on shielding. Work on your prayer and meditation. Work on improving your connection to the Divine. Pay attention to your intuition and guidance from above. It will warn you of impending danger IF you listen.

I’ve been knocked down repeatedly. Wrecked lower back, a neck that’s in even worse shape, inability to hold a regular job due to health issues, and that’s just the recent stuff. Verbally abusive mother, a violent drunk first step father that tried to shoot us all at one point, etc… It’s been bad and yes, I HAVE fallen into the bitterness and self-pity trap at points.

Again, that only draws more negative energy to you, which in turn attracts more negative events. You have to be determined to perservere.

There’s a great line from Rocky 4 also, where he’s talking about facing Ivan Drago:

“Maybe I can’t win. Maybe the only thing I can do, is just take everything he’s got. But to beat me… he’s going to have to kill me… and to kill me, he’s gotta have to heart to stand in front of me. And to do that, he’s gotta be willing to die himself… and I don’t know if he’s ready to do that.”

The Rocky analogy is a good one for this situation too. If you remember that fight, Rocky started out being boo’ed and hated by the partisan Russian crowd. He displayed heart and eventually won the crowd over with his refusal to quit. The world will test you just like spiritual powers will. Eventually your light will spread. If it doesn’t spread, at least as far as you like, take satisfaction in any good you have done and ignore the critics. They’ll always be there.

Either way, be that dettermined. Except for killing people, lol. The bottom line is that life changes when you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired.

You may not have to hit rock bottom, but you do have to be tired of living the way you are. Be determined to work and struggle for more. Never let anybody tell you that you can’t do it, you’re an idiot, etc… People like that are only projecting their fears and insecurities onto you.

If you all didn’t guess, this is where I’m at now. “Project Rebirth” is my resolution that I’m not living this way anymore. Like a Phoenix, I WILL rise again

I’m going to use every physical therapy, medical and spiritual option I can find to regain my health and my life. I’m through hearing I can’t do it. I’m through listening to my fears. From now on, they’re a “prove me wrong” challenge. I’m going to stand my gently and politely stand my ground also when I know I’m facing an evil or an injustice. It may take me years to get back to full health, but I will prevail.

And yes, I’m returning to my spiritual studies as well. I’m not sure how much I’ll have new here in terms of techniques, etc… but at the very least I’ll share my journey instead of hiding from it.

Facing Fears

I think it’s past due time I got back to writing here.  Anybody also following my other blog will know I’ve had some serious self-doubt eating at me recently.  I didn’t discuss the spiritual end of things in the other blog though.  Mundanes tend to get weirded out by this stuff. 🙂

On the spiritual end though, there’s self doubts over lousy past lives.  No details here, I’m a bit too private.  My biggest concern is that the information I give here will be misused to hurt others though.  I had a friend that I did alot to help spiritually.  I went out on a huge karmic limb for her, and I taught her the energy techniques I’ve posted here.  She turned around and used them to attack anybody who offended her in the slightest and badly hurt another former friend of hers.  That despite constantly preaching to her that spiritual abilities should only be used for knowledge and defense.

I felt guilty about it for a long time.  Still do, to a degree.  Mr Miyagi was wrong though; there is such a thing as a bad student.  All a spiritual teacher can do is try to impart wisdom with offered knowledge.  They can’t force the person they’re mentoring to follow a moral path.  I did cut her off once it became clear she was misusing her knowledge and had no intention of changing.  That’s all I could morally do.

As for the past lives…  Well…  That can all be summed up as “you can’t even keep your own lives together, how are you going to offer anything to anyone else?” Exaggeration, but self-doubt is evil in what it will tell you.


I’ve decided to keep going forward here though.  First *I* need this blog, as a reminder to myself of all these things.  When we get overwhelmed with life and drama we forget simple things like grounding away negative energy instead of wallowing in it as a victim.  It’s a tool for me to fight the self doubt and negative energy.

Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, at this point I think it’s more important to help fellow empaths and try to put the knowledge out there for the right people than it it is to worry if a bad person might misuse it.  Their karma will fall on them.

In the meantime, the number of empaths and other spiritually gifted people out there seem to be growing, while the establishment tries harder and harder to label us all as crazed or confused.  I think I have a moral obligation to try to help where I can.  While I may not be the most eloquent teacher, I do have an ability to cut through the crap and veiled language common in spiritual teaching.


False Compassion + An Update

Back among the living after a draining day yesterday with my step-father’s funeral.  He was ultimately a positive anchor for the family (mainly my mom) so I’m not looking forward to where things MAY go from here with him gone.  I get back to my blog and email after a day and a half, and I had 114 email notifications to go through.  Fun times. LOL.  Three hours later I’m done.

One post in particular that I read inspired today’s post here.  It was about how Walls Don’t Work.  Political commentary, but there’s a larger issue here, especially for empaths.

Walls & boundaries DO work.  Not perfectly.  NOTHING created by humans ever will work perfectly.  If there are no boundaries of any sort, people will walk all over you, so YES it’s OK to say NO.

BTW, the book “Boundaries” by Dr Henry Cloud is GREAT reading on how to set reasonable boundaries.

So how does false compassion tie into both personal boundaries and physical walls?  First we have to define it.  False compassion is an idea or action that FEELS good but does nothing to fix a problem or only makes it worse.  The easiest example is the stereotypical “Give a drunk a drink”.  They may feel better short term, but you’ve only prolonged their suffering.

Let’s go with another example here in my home town.  It’s a good one because it also illustrates how false compassion can negatively impact others as well.  We have a huge homeless population problem here.  Part of that problem is that they go through neighborhoods on trash pickup nights, ransack cans and dump trash all over the place.  There have been some ugly fights about the issue on a certain community based website network that I wont give publicity to also.  The false compassion crowd says people have no right to complain because home owners have more.  They virtue signal about how they give money to these homeless people also and how wonderful they are for doing it.

Point out that you’re doing nothing to change the situation for the homeless, that you’d be better off giving that money to shelters that help them get off the street, and you’re attacked as a selfish nazi.

The point here is that false compassion is a form of manipulation and emotional blackmail.  It guilts people wrongly into doing things, and often with the only benefit being it keeps the guilter from doing anything meaningful about the situation themself.

Let’s look at the border wall example.  First let me say I believe we need immigration reform along with the wall.  I’ve seen first hand that there ARE jobs Americans won’t do (A major sign of a dying civilization BTW), and good people deserve a shot at the American Dream also.

BUT…  If you boil the Wall issue down to a personal level, what you have is your neighbor saying that you have a bigger house and more things than they do.  Because of that, your neighbor’s family is ENTITLED to come in and take what they want, make use of the house any way they see fit, etc…  If you say anything about it, even objecting to ONE member of the family being a felon, then you’re a racist, nationalist, nazi, etc…

If you doubt that’s the mentality, remember the news footage of the caravan members throwing rocks and trying to rush the border to get past the Border Patrol there.

Again, I’m not heartless.  I believe we should help who we can, individually and as a country.  There’s a BIG difference between your neighbor asking for help dealing with a problem and demanding you fix it for them.

So yes, a wall is only a proper boundary.  It’s designed to help us control who comes into our country, just like a front door is designed to let you control who comes into your house.  Neither are a perfect defense.  Again, no such thing.  That front door can be kicked in, BUT it’s a strong start, isn’t it?

The VAST majority of people from Central and South America are honest, very hard working people.  They deserve a chance to come here temporarily to work or to try to become citizens.  We also have a right and a moral obligation to the public to make a real effort to keep the drugs, gang members and human traffickers OUT however.

And again, the lesson spills back over to surviving as an empath also.  You have a right to establish boundaries, not be used by people, and maintain control of YOUR life.  There are people you want to let into your life, and some you want to exclude.  That’s fine, and don’t let anybody guilt trip and manipulate you into believing otherwise.  Often, it’s just an excuse to become an emotional drain on you.

Triple Goose Egg…

Just a little bit of grumbling here…

Three days with zero views.  That despite the fact I added 11 pages to the blog,split between 2 directory tabs that count as pages.

I guess people aren’t that interested after all…  I’m going to give it a few more days before I decide about shutting this down.


I know it looks like I’ve been neglecting this blog in favor of the writing one, BUT I am doing a great deal of work behind the scenes.  I have a half dozen pages in first draft stage and after a little editing, they should be ready to go.  🙂

I’m honestly amazed I’ve gotten as much done as I have.  The last few days have been fairly busy.  More than all the stuff I’ve had to take care of, the family crap surrounding my step-father’s death is working my last good nerve.

My mom is showing early signs of backsliding into her old bitchy persona that caused me to shut the family out for 20 years.  Too many snarky remarks for my liking.

My uncle…  Well, he’s got the world’s most inappropriate sense of humor, and he drinks a bit too much also, which only makes it worse.  When my mom called him to let him know that my stepfather was on his death bed, my uncle offered to drive up and bring his gun.

My brother…  He’s absorbed my mom’s negativity over the years and trash talks everybody behind their back, telling distorted accounts of events, making character assassinations, etc…  His BS is a large contributor to the conflict that kept me away for years. Did I mention he’s a total drunk also?

Anyway, after he and my mom spent years poisoning my step-father’s family against me, I was reluctant to come up and say goodbye.  He died about an hour before we arrived also.  Soooo, my brother decides he’s going to play the self-righteous jackass (doesn’t it suck never knowing what redheads really think? LOL) and he’s not talking to me now because I didn’t want to visit.  Never mind he didn’t come to visit my mom at all on Thursday after the death.  He just went to work as if it was business as normal.  Hypocrite.

Nothing but conflict and drama… God I can’t wait to move away from all of them later this year.  It’s taking way too much effort to keep my spiritual and physical energy up.

A First Update

I’m going to have to ask readers to bear with me.  Spirituality as a general topic has a VAST array of sub-topics.  Hence, trying to figure out an easy way to organize this blog is proving problematic.  I’d like to do the same as my writing blog and have things broken down into unique directory pages with specific categories.  It appears I’m going to need a very big menu however, LOL.

For now, things will be posted as blog posts on the home page.  Once I figure out an organization system, I’ll create a menu and start posting things on new pages to make them easier to find.