Category Archives: Updates

Pondering Old Issues For Me

This is going to be stream of consciousness for me; an effort to write out things I’ve been trying to work through lately. Maybe “talking it out” will gain me some perspective.

Well, first a small update for anyone that actually wants to read. My “project rebirth” thing was a wash for a while, SORT OF. I underwent spinal decompression therapy to try to reverse stage 3 spinal degeneration in my neck. The process broke down alot of internal scar tissue and left me pretty well sidelined for a while from the pain. I’m trying to get back on the horse again however.

The previous damage to my neck had done a major number on my spiritual gifts too. Energetic blockages. Blockages that have now been at least partially cleared up. You’d think that would be a good thing, BUT when you go from a hair over a muggle back to an ability as an empath that will let you sense people on the other side of the world, it’s… required major adjustment.

I’ve had to relearn old shielding techniques, and try to find new ones all while coping with a horrific amount of negative energy in the ether. This world is screaming in pain right now as “leaders” and media do everything they can to pit common people against each other. It’s overwhelming. The only real answer is to keep pushing through it; work on meditation, shielding and control.


And Then There Was THIS Blog…

So let’s be real here, I’ve done nothing with this blog for AGES. I’m shocked I still have any followers, LOL. Guess it helps that the info I provided thus far was good.

My major hangup about doing a spiritual blog is that the vast majority of spiritual people I’ve met online and in person seem quick to abuse their abilities, skirt common sense rules, AND react harshly when they’re advised caution. True even when they know better.

One such person I know did a tremendous amount of excellent writing on the dangers of spiritual attachments like cords and outright possession, but then admits to freely playing with ghosts. A good way to get burned, as ghosts can be just as deceptive and manipulative as anything from outside our realm. What’s worse; they aren’t bound by the same rules as those other things.

It’s always “I’m different, I can handle it” though. Aleister Crowley thought so too. All it took was one failure to properly close an Enochian ritual to twist him into “The Great Beast” though. On a more personal level, I had a student a good 20 years ago that got bitchy over the pace of her training and insisted on jumping into books on goetia (demon summoning) on her own. She got belligerent when told (by multiple people) it was something not to be messed with and then outright combative when I cut her off.

I could go on with other examples, like the lunatic who thought he was John the Baptist and tried to attack a friend and I both physically and spiritually, OR even the help mate who turned on me like a rabid dog after I broke a really nasty curse another witch had put on her. My crime? Advising her to be a better person so nobody did things like that to her again.

So yes… I wonder from a karma standpoint if creating a blog of techniques and advice is opening the door for people to things they’re not willing to handle responsibly. I hate to use the expression (because it sounds like I’m talking down), but am I effectively putting a gun into the hands of a child here? I don’t want that karma.

There IS the flip side argument though… To put it in Star Wars terms; “If we don’t train him, he’ll naturally drift to the Dark Side”. No easy answers.

I feel better for just “verbalizing” my doubts, but I’m still not much closer to an answer. The first thing I clearly have to do is get the empathic ability under control. Having an ability to sense and be influenced by spiritual energy with virtually global range and NO off switch sucks.

Project Rebirth

Yes, I’m back again, ready to give this yet another try.

I appreciate that my followers seem to have hung on despite this blog being largely inactive for ages. There’s a TON I want to say here, so I’ll apologize if this gets long and rambling.

So where have I been? Getting knocked around by life, falling on my butt, and struggling to get back up again. Dealing with fears and doubts that I thought I’d beaten, only to have them attack me from a different angle.

Reality is, I doubt I’m much different from anyone else. Especially those of us who are gifted with spiritual awareness and a connection to the Divine. So, part of my reason for writing this is to encourage all of you who have beat up by life to rise up and keep going. The world is becoming a dark place, and it needs every scrap of light and positive energy it can get. The ugly tone of politics, all the half true allegations flying around there and elsewhere… It’s NOT an accident. Neither, I believe is some of the misfortune we’ve been suffering.

First, if you want to recover, focus on recovery. Wallowing in injustices real and perceived only brings your spiritual energy to a lower vibration and keeps you stuck.

Second, and even more important, I’m not advocating rising up like some army or trying to become a superhero. There’s only ONE way to beat the combination of spiritual and human evil in the world today. That’s to pray, meditate and try to bring as much white light into the world as possible. Don’t lecture people. I think that’s the biggest flaw of organized religion. Instead, set a positive example via your words and ACTIONS.

Think of the world as a dark room full of people with unlit candles, and you hold a lit one. You light the next person’s candle with your own, then they spread that light to the next person, and so on. Before you know it, the entire room is overflowing with light. There’s no magical games involved, no forcing opinions on people, or debating with negative ones. Just be the best you that you can and let that light inspire others.

You WILL get tested again. Maybe knocked down again. There are hundreds of motivational sayings about the person who wins is the one who gets up one more time than they’re knocked down. Work on shielding. Work on your prayer and meditation. Work on improving your connection to the Divine. Pay attention to your intuition and guidance from above. It will warn you of impending danger IF you listen.

I’ve been knocked down repeatedly. Wrecked lower back, a neck that’s in even worse shape, inability to hold a regular job due to health issues, and that’s just the recent stuff. Verbally abusive mother, a violent drunk first step father that tried to shoot us all at one point, etc… It’s been bad and yes, I HAVE fallen into the bitterness and self-pity trap at points.

Again, that only draws more negative energy to you, which in turn attracts more negative events. You have to be determined to perservere.

There’s a great line from Rocky 4 also, where he’s talking about facing Ivan Drago:

“Maybe I can’t win. Maybe the only thing I can do, is just take everything he’s got. But to beat me… he’s going to have to kill me… and to kill me, he’s gotta have to heart to stand in front of me. And to do that, he’s gotta be willing to die himself… and I don’t know if he’s ready to do that.”

The Rocky analogy is a good one for this situation too. If you remember that fight, Rocky started out being boo’ed and hated by the partisan Russian crowd. He displayed heart and eventually won the crowd over with his refusal to quit. The world will test you just like spiritual powers will. Eventually your light will spread. If it doesn’t spread, at least as far as you like, take satisfaction in any good you have done and ignore the critics. They’ll always be there.

Either way, be that dettermined. Except for killing people, lol. The bottom line is that life changes when you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired.

You may not have to hit rock bottom, but you do have to be tired of living the way you are. Be determined to work and struggle for more. Never let anybody tell you that you can’t do it, you’re an idiot, etc… People like that are only projecting their fears and insecurities onto you.

If you all didn’t guess, this is where I’m at now. “Project Rebirth” is my resolution that I’m not living this way anymore. Like a Phoenix, I WILL rise again

I’m going to use every physical therapy, medical and spiritual option I can find to regain my health and my life. I’m through hearing I can’t do it. I’m through listening to my fears. From now on, they’re a “prove me wrong” challenge. I’m going to stand my gently and politely stand my ground also when I know I’m facing an evil or an injustice. It may take me years to get back to full health, but I will prevail.

And yes, I’m returning to my spiritual studies as well. I’m not sure how much I’ll have new here in terms of techniques, etc… but at the very least I’ll share my journey instead of hiding from it.